Boast-worthy

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Recently I’ve been having trouble sleeping at night (again). Obviously the late-night hours affects my productivity the next day, because I either sleep late or get up feeling sluggish and grouchy. When I sleep late, I wake up with this heavy weight on my shoulders. I feel all this pressure to get everything done with too little time to do it.  When I wake up sluggish, I’m unmotivated and often take a nap, which extends the poor sleeping cycle. It can be a frustrating pattern.

What is it about waking up late that makes me feel pressure? Obviously there are some things that legitimately need to get done, but waking up an hour, or an hour and a half, late typically doesn’t affect those crucial things. I’m still going to pick up the kids from school on a day like that (if there were such a thing #coronatimes), and take care of all the urgent things I need to do. The only difference is the tasks that are somewhat optional. Those tasks I want to do for myself – for my personal growth – whether physical, spiritual or emotional. Those are usually the ones that get pushed off on a day when I’m not making the most of my time. But if those things are just optional, or recreational, then why should they stress me out?

Because I identify my self-worth by my accomplishments.

Sounds crazy? I wonder if I’m the only one? 🙄 It’s certainly good to be productive but if I only love myself because I finished this or I have that to show for myself, then my love is a conditional love, which the Mishna in Avos (5:16) says:

כָּל אַהֲבָה שֶׁהִיא תְלוּיָה בְדָבָר, בָּטֵל דָּבָר, בְּטֵלָה אַהֲבָה

Any love that is conditional is only transient. Because once the condition is no longer in place, there is no reason to love. We have to love ourselves no matter what we accomplish and not over identify with our ability to produce. This isn’t an easy ask, because everyone everywhere judges everyone else by what everyone else does. But so what? No one said this was gonna be easy. If it was easy, don’t you think a smart guy like me would be able to do it?!

The truth is that the tzaddikim see themselves and others in a totally different light. They don’t see themselves as great in their accomplishments. On the contrary, they also feel a longing for more, but their self worth is sourced in one thing only…

Rebbe Nachman tells a story of a certain tzaddik who was overcome with a terrible sense of sadness. Eventually this tzaddik fell so deep into sadness that he found it literally impossible even to move . He wanted to encourage himself and pull himself up, but nothing could make him happy or inspired. No matter what he tried to be happy about, the Evil One found some reason to make him depressed about it. Finally, after trying everything, he tried to make himself happy by dwelling on the fact that Hashem created him as a Jew. This is certainly a reason to feel immeasurable joy, because the vast difference between the holiness of even the simplest Jew and the impurity of the gentiles is beyond all measure. The sad tzaddik started making himself feel happy about this. He started rejoicing and raising himself little by little. With each passing moment he felt greater joy until he reached such a level of joy that he attained the joy that Moses experienced when he ascended to receive the Torah.

The Rebbe’s story is so profound because any happiness from a personal achievement can always be scrutinized and criticized. No matter what the achievement is, there are always shortcomings and deficiencies which can bring sadness. But to be created as a Jew is a gift of Hashem alone. Hashem Himself did it, it’s exclusively the work of God, so there is no lacking in that joy. Regardless of what kind of Jew the person may be, there is certainly an immeasurable difference between himself and the gentiles. So there is always a reason to be happy. This is why the tzaddikim love themselves and others. This is why Hashem loves His people. Not because we finished shas or gave so much charity. No matter how much we learn or pray, it could never be enough to deserve His love.

יִשְׂרָאֵל אֲשֶׁר בְּךָ אֶתְפָּאָר

Hashem says, “Israel, I boast about you”. He takes pride in us. We’re like those children that drive the parents nuts, but then they do one cute little thing and the parents go crazy over them. Why? Because it’s their kid. We’re His children. Thats a deep love. That’s a love that’s unconditional. It’s great to accomplish. But that’s not us. We’re greater than any accomplishment. We’re Yisrael. We’re boast-worthy!

Stripped down

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“The reason why the world is far from Hashem…is ONLY because they don’t have yishuv hadaas, [the ability to unite with their “present moment awareness”]. They’re not able to settle down. The main thing is to to try and really calm ourselves down.” (Tinyana 10)

 

You’re gonna think this is weird but the above teaching brings to mind something Rebbe Nachman said about Uman Rosh Hashana. The Rebbe said, “My Rosh Hashana is greater than anything else” and “anyone who merits to be with me for Rosh Hashana should be exceedingly happyרָאוּי לוֹ לִשְׂמחַ מְאד מְאד.  (Chayei Moharan 403)

This means that anyone who went to the Rebbe in Uman for Rosh Hashana should always be happy. Just for that one thing alone, we should bliss-out all year long. Really! So why isn’t that the case? Because we don’t have yishuv hadaas. We’re not living in the moment. We’re upset about our past and we’re afraid about our future but we’re not living in the moment.” The main thing is to really calm our minds”. It’s proving quite hard now with all that’s going on and our obsession with this virus. But we need to quiet our minds and live in the moment. It’s the only way to have dveikus. There’s almost nothing else to do anyways. (And, of course, even if you’ve never been to Uman for Rosh Hashana, I’m sure you have many many mitzvos that can bring you true joy. Why not meditate on that?) We need to build our muscle of yishuv hadaas.

You might ask, why should the present moment bring us joy? Because that’s our natural state. Sadly, we’ve corrupted our minds, so we don’t feel happy unless we peel away the layers, but happiness truly is our default position. For instance, our deepest, most real sound is heard from the shofar. The Rebbe teaches (Chayei Moharan 96) that the first letters of the verse “אָז יִמָּלֵא] שְׂחוֹק פִּינוּ וּלְשׁוֹנֵנוּ רִנָּה]” (“[Then our mouths were] filled with joy and our tongues with song”) is שׁוֹפָר (Shofar). And probably our deepest most real expression is crying (בכיה). The first letters of the verse בְּשִׁמְךָ יְגִילוּן כָּל הַיּוֹם (We will rejoice in Your name all day long) is בכיה. This tells me that our most authentic expressions are ones of joy. That’s who we are right now, in this moment.  We are happy people. If we can’t access it, it’s only because we don’t have yishuv hadaas, present moment awareness.

May Hashem bless us in these crazy times to settle down, block out the noise and access our truest state, our Divine state, a place of Joy. Amen!

Four reasons to be happy

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Rebbe Nachman said many times that the essential tool in ascending in Avodas Hashem is simcha, real joy. So much of what the rebbe taught was advice how to bring joy into our lives. Now, especially, that we’ve entered the month of Adar, where the Talmud says that we need to increase our joy, we’re all wondering how can we do it.

Reb Nosson (Hilchos Mincha 7:53) seems to have a very systematic approach to it. He says there are four essential ways to bring joy into our lives, no matter what the situation. These four ideas are an aspect of the tetragrammaton, the primary name of Hashem, י-ה-ו-ה.

The essential reason to be joyous, as the Rebbe told over in the story of the sad tzaddik is to remember that we merited to be Jewish. This is the essence of joy. As unpolitically correct as it is, we believe that we merited greatly to land this great fortune. Why is this the essential reason? Because it has absolutely nothing to do with our choice, or anything we earned and achieved. No matter what, that’s who we are, and it’s fitting to dance 1000 years for that reason alone. This is symbolically referenced in the י (yud) of Hashem’s name, as the Talmud says (Menachos 29b), the י refers to the ‘world to come’, the world of the tzaddikim, because the י is the smallest letter and there are few tzaddikim. But all of Israel has an aspect of the tzaddim as it says, (Isaiah 6:21) “And [the people of] your nation are all tzaddikim“. That’s why we’re called Jews, or Yehudim, because we’re are all yuds, or yidden.

The next way to add to our joy is by remembering that we merited to connect to the real tzaddikim. This is represented by the first ה of Hashem’s name, because ה represents bina, which is the mechanism of how we understand Hashem’s greatness. This is the job of the true tzaddikim. They put into our minds words of bina that help us understand how great Hashem is, which increases our desire to have a relationship with Him.

The third reason to be joyous is by recognizing that even we have good points ourselves, as the rebbe stressed in the famous lesson 282. It must be that we’ve done something good in our lives. By searching for even the smallest good points and slowly building on them, we can attain joy. This is represented by the ו in Hashem’s name, because the ו means to add, alluding to the process of adding another good point followed by another good point until we can recognize our essential greatness and return wholeheartedly to Hashem.

Finally, these three reasons can bring us enough joy to do a good thing right now, which is represented by the final ה of Hashem’s name, the letter representing action (malchus) in this world.

The common denominator of these four ways is simply recognizing the truth. The truth is always there. We spend too much of our life unconscious and unaware of the great gifts that we have. Just recognizing what we are, where we come from, what we’ve done and what we can do truly accomplish can bring us the essence of hope and joy. Amen!

 

His greatness

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In Torah 25, Rebbe Nachman writes about spiritually ascending from level to level. He says that at the entrance, so to speak, of every new level there are klipos (a protective outer space, like a shell) that prevent us from entering. These klipos present themselves in the form of illusions, doubts, strong urges, confusion and obstacles. The only way, says the Rebbe, to overcome these klipos is by revealing Hashem’s greatness. So how do we reveal Hashem’s greatness in the world? By giving charity. Simply understood, this could mean that when we emulate God’s kindness and assist the less fortunate, His greatness becomes known. This idea is similar to how the Talmud (Yoma 86a) expounds the words, “You must Love your God, Hashem”, i.e. that He should be loved [by others] through you.

But then in the last few lines of the lesson, the Rebbe slips in another little something. “You should also know, that in order to overpower the klipos that surround these levels, you need to awaken the joy in your mitzvos. Meaning, [when you do the mitzvah], you should be happy that you were blessed to come close to Hashem. Through this joy, you can overpower the klipa and ascend to the next level”

One might ask, didn’t the Rebbe just say the way to overcome these klipos is by revealing Hashem’s greatness? Why is he saying now that the way to vanquish them is by doing mitzvos with joy?

I’d like to suggest that both paths are one and the same. Unfortunately, but understandably, sometimes we do mitzvos simply because we did them yesterday and the day before. But when we’re excited by mitzvos because we appreciate how fortunate we are to align with our Creator, it’s a major revelation of His greatness.

Imagine you see a guy walking to shul in the morning with a minor frown and slugged shoulders. Do you wanna go where he’s going? I think not! But what about the other guy who’s skipping into shul and snapping his fingers? “Where’s he going?” you think to yourself. “Oh, to shul? What’s there? Davening? Praising Hashem? That’s all?! Just praising Hashem makes him so happy? Hashem must be great!

Cute, right? Do mitzvos with Joy, like what we teach little kids in cheder.

It’s no small thing. Rebbe Nachman writes (Torah 24) that by performing mitzvos with joy, one can reach the light of Ein Sof, which is way above all the levels of souls. And it’s not just a chassidus thing either. The Mishna Brurah (O”CH 669:11) writes that the Arizal said about himself that the highest levels he ever reached were through the joy of performing mitzvos.

When we strip it all down to what’s really important, it’s easy to see that there’s nothing as good as being with Him. Everything else is stained and fragile, but He is perfect and strong. He is far better than anything we could imagine. And he gave us the instructions how to connect; With his mitzvos. That’s something to truly be happy about! Lcha’im!

The smiling skies

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“You should know, [Hashem’s] presence fills the entire earth and there is no place that is empty of Him…Even if someone does business [far away from his home] with people of different cultures, he can’t excuse himself and say ‘I can’t serve Hashem here, because it’s too dark and mundane here’. In every physical thing and in all the languages of the world one can find Godliness.  Because without His Godliness, there is no ability at all to exist. It’s just that the lower the place is, the more hidden and covered up is its Godliness”. (Torah 33)

צָרִיךְ לָדַעַת, שֶׁמְּלֹא כָל הָאָרֶץ כְּבוֹדוֹ וְלֵית אֲתַר פָּנוּי מִנֵּהּ … וַאֲפִלּוּ מִי שֶׁעוֹסֵק בְּמַשָּׂא וּמַתָּן בַּגּוֹיִים לֹא יוּכַל לְהִתְנַצֵּל וְלוֹמַר אִי אֶפְשִׁי לַעֲבֹד אֶת הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ מֵחֲמַת עוֹבִיּוּת וְגַשְׁמִיּוּת שֶׁנּוֹפֵל תָּמִיד עָלָיו מֵחֲמַת הָעֵסֶק שֶׁעוֹסֵק תָּמִיד עִמָּהֶם, כִּי בְּכָל הַדְּבָרִים גַּשְׁמִיִּים וּבְכָל לְשׁוֹנוֹת הַגּוֹיִים יָכוֹל לִמְצֹא בָהֶם אֱלֹקוּתוֹ, כִּי בְּלֹא אֱלֹקוּתוֹ אֵין לָהֶם שׁוּם חִיּוּת וְקִיּוּם כְּלָל רַק כָּל מַה שֶּׁהַמַּדְרֵגָה יוֹתֵר תַּחְתּוֹנָה אֲזַי אֱלֹקוּתוֹ שָׁם בְּצִמְצוּם גָּדוֹל וּמְלֻבָּשׁ בְּמַלְבּוּשִׁים יוֹתֵר

So Hashem’s presence fills the entire world, right? But how does that help when we’re stuck in a these low places? How can we recognize His presence when we feel like hell and are having such a hard time coping?

There are 12 permutations of the Tetragrammaton (the name of Hashem יהו-ה). The simplest, and yet most essential permutation is of course יהו-ה. The Arizal writes that this permutation is an acronym for the verse “יִשְׂמְחוּ הַשָּׁמַיִם וְתָגֵל הָאָרֶץ” (Psalms, 96:11). “The Heavens will rejoice and the earth will be glad”.

I think, on the most basic level, the idea behind this is that the name of God, in its  simplest form, is represented by rejoicing and joy. A name is not a simple thing. The Maharal teaches that one’s name is his essence. שֵׁם (name) is the same letters as שָׂם (there). Meaning, you are where your name is. Whatever your name is, that defines where/who you are. This verse is indicating, that when we refer to Hashem’s name in the most straightforward way, we are referring to a state of gladness and rejoicing.

So maybe this is what Rebbe Nachman means? Hashem’s presence is everywhere, even in the lowest places. But how does one tap-in to this Godliness in a low place? By finding joy! When we can let go of our suffocating feelings and find something to be glad about – even in what seems to be the hardest situation – we can find Godliness absolutely anywhere. Of course, the lower the space, the harder it is to find Godliness (aka joy), but that’s just because it’s hidden. It’s truly there. The skies are always smiling.

The joy of longing

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Is there an end in sight to all of our struggling?
In Torah 72, Rebbe Nachman teaches thought even a complete victory over the physical and emotional appetites of the body doesn’t lead a person to a static state. In fact, the prior stage of victory over ones physicality is but an initiation into an infinite struggle and paradoxical life of oneness with the Divine, while simultaneously struggling to overcome the limitation of each level of awareness to one still higher. So even the greatest tzaddikim still struggle in a more esoteric way.
This never-ending battle sounds kind of depressing. right?
Wrong!
The sense of longing and incompleteness are themselves the greatest pleasure of all. In fact, Reb Nosson identifies the pleasure and delight of Shabbos, (called oneg shabbos) as essentially consisting of a heightened sense of longing (Hilchos Arev 3:7) This is similar to getting to know someone, whereby each new piece of information adds to the formation of a greater sense of the whole of that person, which in turns adds to the attractiveness of the enigma of who the person really is, which begs for ever more profound perceptions of them, ad inifinitum.

So many people associate happiness with attaining the end-goal. “When I finally get ___ , then I’ll be happy”. The truth is quite the opposite. The journey of life and the yearning to reach the goal is the real source of happiness. We associate the word satisfaction with completing something, like being satisfied from a meal. But really the most satisfying pleasures are the ups and downs of the non-static relationship we forge with our Creator. It will never just be bliss, like some might construe, but, thankfully, our souls will always long for more, even when they are already united with His glory.

(gleaned from the writings of Rabbi Leibish Hundert)

Better to be happy

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On a recent road trip I organized with some friends in Northern Israel, it became all too clear that executing the entire itinerary was a far-away dream. At first I was torn. Should I push everybody to keep moving or just go with the flow, and accept that we won’t reach all our destinations?

Similarly, an observant Jew who follows the legal code of the Shulchan Aruch must recognize that he will find himself in many situations where he is unable to uphold to his ideal standards of mitzvah observance. For example, traveling may often present an obstacle. There isn’t always a synagogue to pray in when we’re on the road. In business dealings as well, we can find ourselves socializing with people whose moral and ideological values threaten us. Even in our own homes too, sometimes our families’ needs temporarily prevent us from meeting our personal standards. These circumstances are an every day part of our life.

The problem usually isn’t the situation that arises around us, but rather how we respond to it. Yes, our intentions of accomplishing are respect-worthy, especially in Divine Service, but everything comes at a cost. Do we become madmen when it seems like things aren’t going to work out like we wished they would have?

Most of us are familiar with Rebbe Nachman’s famous words (Tinyana 24):

מִצְוָה גְּדוֹלָה לִהְיוֹת בְּשִׂמְחָה תָּמִיד

“It’s a great mitzvah to always be happy”.

I was thinking about this statement today and I made a simple inference. The Rebbe didn’t say, “It’s a mitzvah to be happy”, or “It’s even a mitzvah to be happy”. He said, “It’s a great mitzvah to be happy”, meaning it’s a very important and worthy mitzvah to strive for. Maybe sometimes when we’re feeling bad about ourselves because of the circumstances that surround us, or even situations that we ourselves are responsible for, we should remember those holy words and say, “the bigger mitzvah is to be happy now”. Ok, so on Thursday when you got the call to have Shabbos guests and you declined, it was because you were overwhelmed, and now that it’s Shabbos you wish you would have consented. But maybe it’s a greater mitzvah to overlook the regret and be happy now, than to have had the guests in the first place? It’s not just a simple mitzvah to be happy, said the Rebbe, it’s a great mitzvah! Let’s try to remember its paramount importance more often and wear a smile on our faces.

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Thank you

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This is my one hundredth post on this blog! King David called his hundredth Psalm “A song of thanks”, so I’d like to also take this opportunity and express my gratitude. I’m forever grateful to Hashem for giving me this platform to share my thoughts and ideas with some very special readers. I’m grateful to Rebbe Nachman for inspiring me and guiding me since last May, when I started writing. I’m so thankful to my family who always encourages my blogging and I’m most grateful to my followers and readers, who although I don’t usually hear too much from, whenever they drop me a line, it helps me keep going and believing this little notebook is making a cosmic difference.

In Tinyana 2, the Rebbe says that the main pleasure of the next world is to glorify Hashem with thanks and praise, because by recognizing His good, one begins to unify with his Creator. It’s truly been a ‘next-worldly pleasure’ to author this blog and I hope that we share many more beautiful ideas together, connecting to the burning heart and soul of this great Tzaddik, Rebbe Nachman Ben Feige, until the coming of Mashaich soon in our days. Amen!

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א  מִזְמוֹר לְתוֹדָה: הָרִיעוּ לַיהוָה, כָּל-הָאָרֶץ.
ב  עִבְדוּ אֶת-יְהוָה בְּשִׂמְחָה; בֹּאוּ לְפָנָיו, בִּרְנָנָה.
ג  דְּעוּ כִּי יְהוָה, הוּא אֱלֹהִים: הוּא-עָשָׂנוּ, ולא (וְלוֹ) אֲנַחְנוּ עַמּוֹ, וְצֹאן מַרְעִיתוֹ.
ד  בֹּאוּ שְׁעָרָיו, בְּתוֹדָה--חֲצֵרֹתָיו בִּתְהִלָּה; הוֹדוּ-לוֹ, בָּרְכוּ שְׁמוֹ.
ה  כִּי-טוֹב יְהוָה, לְעוֹלָם חַסְדּוֹ; וְעַד-דֹּר וָדֹר, אֱמוּנָתוֹ.

The joy of mindfulness

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The Holy Arizal said that he merited his exalted levels of Divine spirit from all of his toil to find joy in performing mitzvos. How does one enjoy performing mitzvos? Mitzvah observance seems demanding. We’re often doing mitzvos for reasons we don’t fully understand and some of the mitzvos we do seem so irrelevant in our times. Even mitzvos whose significance we can appreciate, such as prayer, become so robotic over time. How can we find joy in mitzvos?

People have one of two motivations in observing the mitzvos, says Rebbe Nachman. Most people want the reward in the world to come, but some people actually enjoy the mitzvah itself.  The Rebbe compares this to the difference between Moses’ ability to prophesy and the prophetic skills of our other profits. All of the other prophets were said to have seen their visions through an opaque mirror, whereas Moses saw his visions through a translucent one. This means that the other prophets were describing their interpretation of the vision, which was a subjective one seen from a distance. But Moses’ prophecy was the absolute word of God. He wasn’t speculating or interpreting the vision subjectively, but rather his humility allowed the word of God to reach the listener in its authentic form. This is the difference between doing a mitzvah for some reward in the future and doing a mitzvah for the mitzvah itself. When someone does a mitzvah for something in the future, he isn’t having pleasure now. But someone who only wants the mitzvah, experiences sheer joy from the mitzvah.  The Rebbe says (Torah 5) that the Joy of Hashem is enclothed in the mitzvos. It’s His connection to us and when we are in it for its own sake we are like Moses, whose perceptions are exact. We’re able to tap into the essence of what the mitzvah is, which is joy – the joy of the Creator.

Ok, but seriously, how does this relate to me? Am I all of a sudden going to run to do a mitzvah for its purest sake? How am I, who generally performs mitzvos in cruise control, going to enjoy the mitzvah?

I think we need to read between the lines of what Rebbe Nachman is teaching here. Where are you when you’re doing a mitzvah? Are you present or are you checking it off your list? Are you mindful of what you’re doing or are you just putting one step in front of the other, because that’s what you did yesterday? Is your head focused on the mitzvah or are you concerned to present a certain way? Are you conscientious of it or are you dreaming of something else? The Rebbe is saying something very simple. To experience the joy of the mitzvah, you need to want only the mitzvah. But what if I don’t want the mitzvah? Well, no wonder you don’t find joy from it. Maybe you have ulterior motives for your mitzvah performance? Those considerations are interfering with the pleasure that’s inherent in the mitzvah itself. Mitzvos are משמחי לב, they make us happy (Psalms 19:9). Some might find that happiness from being associated with the observant community. Others might be meticulously observant for the pleasure they get when receiving honor. In the long-term those things don’t do it for me. If I’m doing this mitzvah-thing, I’m doing it because I believe in what the mitzvah itself has to offer me. But if I’m not present when I’m carrying it out, then I’m not enjoying it. If I’m not enjoying it, doing it annoys me. So my avodah is to be as mindful as I can when I’m doing it. If I’m spending the time on it anyways, it’s worth the extra effort to shut out everything else and reap the joy it has to offer.

בתוך שאר חולי ישראל Lippe Minya bat Rose רפואה שלימה 

You’re worth it

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Why do we replay old uncomfortable episodes in our heads time and again? Granted, we’re not that happy with how we acted or reacted, but what’s the point in tormenting ourselves? Innate health professionals might say that we’re even coercing ourselves to feel negative by taking our thoughts so seriously, when naturally we could let go of those thoughts and move on.

Listen to the words of Reb Nosson:

When some people learn mussar books, which talk in detail about the bitterness of punishment in Hell, they get very scared. When that happens, ‘the evil one‘ trips them up and makes them fall into a deeper depression until sometimes, God forbid, it could actually lead them to heresy” (בכור בהמה ד’ אות י״ז).

I think that when we obsess about fixing our past, we are living in that narrow-minded world Reb Nosson is describing called ‘fear of punishment’. Our souls know where we came from and where we’re going, so we want to improve. But one of the unhealthy ways of expressing desire to change could be perfectionism, nit-picking and an infatuation with our past mistakes.

This leads us to the following question: Although the Holy Zohar is critical of someone who’s fear of Heaven is only from ‘fear of punishment’, Rebbe Nachman said unequivocally that our main עבודה (service of God) is via ‘fear of punishment’. He said it’s impossible to start without it. Even the Tzaddikim need it, because there are “very very few” who serve Hashem out of love (Sichos Haran 5).

So is fear of punishment a bad thing or a good thing?

Back to Reb Nosson:

In Hashem’s mercy He send us Tzaddikim, who teach us that even the lowest most despicable person has hope, because Hashem’s compassion is very very great. This celestial insight helps us not only avoid the depression associated with fear of punishment, but actually bring us so much joy” (ibid).

What joy is Reb Nosson talking about? Why would I be happy to be punished for my wrongdoings? Because it shows that I count. My actions count. I am significant. Even a person as dirty as me is important to Hashem. Even punishment itself isn’t some imaginary crane lowering me into an erupting volcano. It’s simply the exact actions I did with all the knowledge of it’s repercussions. When the veil is removed from this world and the truth shines, we’ll fully appreciate our actions. If they were good, we will experience their bliss. If they weren’t…

The fact that our actions count is reason enough never to give up hope and never to fall into the clutches of the other side, who wants to bury us when we mess up. Because if you believe that you can mess up, you have to believe that you can fix yourself too.

You are important reminder note